I use to say, "I can't understand why anyone would try to be suicidal."
     Today I know the feeling of wishing it'd end, how some might hold a gun, put it up to your head and click it off. Pain ended. How some cut themselves until they drift off into an eternal sleep. I could but then I'd lose that special someone even if it only is a friendship. It kills me, wish it would end but life is more precious then to end it.

     My heart is broken, I can't sleep and I hurt the one I love more than anything. Life is to be lived, death is what comes when life is over. While I feel my life has just ended, I won't give up. Neither should anyone else.

     If you must, let someone put that gun away for you. Reveal those scars to someone and let your emotions flow to someone else, instead of to a knife. Drugs? They help. Take too many and you'd be asleep for along time. Honestly, I've taken some. It'd numb you until you can sleep good, but it'd only work while you were on them and honestly, they can also have the adverse effect of making you worse.

     So what am I gonna do? Throw away my fears, hard as it can be to change. I'm going to try to change, to become better. While the former is quicker, think of the ones you'd be leaving behind? Those who would be heart broken, if you're in a coffin.

     I've learned the best of life, love. I need it from the girl I love, and the only way I can get it back is trying hard to change, become better verison of myself for her. She would/could do it for me, but I've yet to succeed in doing it for her. Until then, I don't deserve her but I can't live without her.

     Listening to music, songs she suggested, artists she loves and all I can think of is. WHY, why did I have to be so foolish.
     Watching Videos of her, saying I love you or other things that can always bring a smile to my face, now just bring tears to my eyes.
     Staring at the pictures of her, How beautiful her smile is to me. How hard it is to not have that smile back.

     The moral of this is life is precious and love is the most precious thing in life. If you find it, don't ruin it. Try your hardest to fix it. Get her (or him) back before its too late.